Showing posts with label Mai HiME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mai HiME. Show all posts

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The One Most Precious pt 2

Mai HiME fanfic. A dropped story that was supposedly about the return of an old threat to the HiME, the return of their powers, and most importantly the getting together for my various favorite couples of that series. As it was dropped these two snippets are mostly about Shizuru and Natsuki.
(Shizuru/Natsuki) Second part out of two before dropped.

Read The One Most Precious pt 2






Disclaimer: Based on the anime Mai HiME, set a short while after the end of the series. I might possibly have changed some small things from what they are in the anime, such as maybe ages.

If you can accept, oh I don't know, flying squid/dragons and metal wolves, then I'm sure you can just nod and accept my flimsy excuse for having Shizuru and Haruka employed at the school. ;P



The One Most Precious pt 2 of 2
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by Carola “Ryûchan” Eriksson






The first day of school at the restored Fuuka academy quickly ended, and everyone agreed to make time for a karaoke night sometime during the weekend to celebrate that the gang was back together. With that Natsuki said her goodbyes and made her way back home… or rather, the Fujino mansion where she had been living for several months at the very least.

When she somewhat hesitantly stopped by the principal’s office to let Shizuru know that she was going ahead, Natsuki was told by the kindly older woman that was the school’s librarian that the faculty of the school was going to hold a conference that would take a few hours most likely, but she promised to bring a message to the new principal on Natsuki’s behalf.

By the time Natsuki had made her way by bus and walking, the elderly housekeeper, Maria, was all but waiting at the door for her mistress and Natsuki to come home. Sheepishly Natsuki apologised for being late for the dinner that Maria had ready and waiting for her and Shizuru, and she explained that Shizuru would be late returning from work.

Maria waved away the apology, stating that she was the hired help and did not need to be apologised to by Natsuki-ojousama. Natsuki held her tongue for once, having tried to reason with Maria before that while Shizuru was the mistress of the house and the ojousama, Natsuki herself was just a guest… those conversations always ended with Natsuki blushing at the rather pointed way Maria would look at her, and Maria would continue to call Natsuki ojousama regardless.

“Still, I am sorry. We should have called to let you know.” Natsuki said and peeked into the dining room and the small feast prepared for her and Shizuru. “If you don’t mind, could you put dinner away to be re-heated later? I’ll just be in the study until Shizuru comes home.”

“Will you not have dinner now yourself, Natsuki-ojousama?” Maria’s question was polite even as she snapped her fingers once to bring the attention of the maids to her. She frowned slightly in the direction of the youngest, the blond girl Erstin, whom upon seeing Natsuki blushed to her roots and faltered in her steps a little. Natsuki waved at the girl with a brief indulgent smile, having been informed earlier that young Erstin had a persistent crush on Natsuki ever since the girl had first seen her arrive on her motorcycle. Usually Natsuki found it mildly amusing how Maria disapproved if ever Erstin got any of Natsuki’s attention, but she didn’t have it in her to tease the girl about it. Erstin would outgrow any particular fondness for Natsuki soon enough, Natsuki figured.

“No, I’ll wait for Shizuru.”

To Natsuki’s amazement that statement apparently won Maria’s approval. Although the housekeeper would never say anything disapproving of either of her ojousamas actions, Maria still had an ability to clearly project her approval or disapproval with something small, like the movement of an eyebrow. Maria had been in the service of the Fujino family since long before Shizuru was born, and once the only child of the Fujino house had been orphaned at a young age, Maria had taken Shizuru under her wing even though she never forgot her place. When Natsuki came into the picture Maria had extended her usual if discreet mothering tendencies to her as well, somewhat, and one of the things the old woman was adamant about was that both Shizuru and Natsuki would eat properly.

“I can stay to handle the meal preparations, Natsuki-ojousama.” The old woman offered, as it was already past the time that Maria and the other servants were supposed to get off work for the day. Shizuru had let built a rather nice house some distance down the road where Maria and a few of the other servants lived, overruling Maria’s protests that the old servant quarters in the mansion were good enough for her, so in the case of an emergency there was always someone only the press of a button away. It was not complete privacy, having Maria and the others arrive after breakfast and stay until roughly the end of the school day, but it was as close as Shizuru and Natsuki could come in the mansion. And the old housekeeper and all those trained by her knew how to be discrete.

“I think that after all the work you and Shizuru have put into making me able to at least push the button on the microwave by myself, I should be alright.” Natsuki grinned a bit insolently at the older woman, earning the tiniest amused smile in return. “In fact Shizuru has graduated me to the level of heating water for tea, I’m sure I can handle things on my own for a few hours.”

Maria snorted slightly before covering. “In that case I shall have a fresh pot of tea prepared before I leave, Natsuki-ojousama. We do not wish for an accident to burn down the building while Shizuru-ojousama is away, do we?”

Natsuki chuckled and let the old woman have her way. She had some important things to concentrate on in the study, after all, and she didn’t mind the standing joke about her own inability to cook, either. Natsuki had managed for many years on her own, but it was true that she would only trust herself as far as instant or microwave food was concerned. In the life Natsuki had led it had just been more important to know how to clean a gun, repair a motorcycle or how to pick a lock, than it was to cook. And there had been no-one in her life that could have taught her, anyway.

Her thoughts briefly touched on another time, on a divine bowl of instant ramen in a small dorm-room kitchen, made salt by the sorrow and longing of the young woman who lived there. It had not been too bad, for a last meal… even if the person Mai had cooked for wasn’t really Natsuki.

Natsuki shook her dark head to dispel her thoughts from the track they had taken.

As Natsuki made her way towards the study where the computers were located she found herself walking past the butsudan. She stopped for a moment to look at it from the hallway. Sometimes it was hard to remember that the Fujino mansion was not her home. That Natsuki really was just a guest in Shizuru’s world.

Shizuru, as the dutiful and elegant woman she was, always spent a moment in the morning with the house butsudan, and sometime during those first difficult weeks after the horror they lived through Natsuki had picked up the habit of joining her, sending a thought to her own lost loved ones. Natsuki still had no idea how Shizuru had managed the task as Natsuki herself had no other physical representations of her mother, other than a few worn pictures from an old newspaper that had perished in the destruction of her home, but one morning as she had glanced up at the butsudan there it was. A single black-framed picture of Kuga Saeko placed next to those of Shizuru’s own parents. And beside the photo a small origami dog made from pale blue paper, representing Natsuki’s lost Duran.

Tears were not an easy thing for Natsuki, nor were expressing emotions other than anger, but that morning she had rushed into the taller woman’s arms and wept like the little girl she once was should have done when her world collapsed. As Natsuki had thanked Shizuru effusively she had looked up into warm red eyes and known that whatever else might happen and whatever else might become of her emotions, Kuga Natsuki loved Fujino Shizuru more than anything else in this world.

And Shizuru was so thoughtful, so tender, so loving. When Natsuki had noticed that while there was a representation for her beloved Duran on the shelf there was nothing reminiscent of Shizuru’s own Kiyohime, Shizuru’s eyes had clouded with shame and uncertainty, and the tall blonde had admitted that she had been unsure if Natsuki would want to see a daily reminder of Shizuru’s dreaded Child. Natsuki had set Shizuru’s concerns at ease the only way she knew how; with a hug and, the following day, by providing origami paper in muted purple for Shizuru to work with. Now the two paper Childs stood together on the shelf, just like they had died together. It felt like the right thing to do.

Natsuki burned a stick of incense before proceeding to the study and her self-appointed task. She was still there hours later, sorting the information she had gathered and her thoughts regarding it, when the muted sounds of a car outside revealed that Shizuru had returned.

Smiling a little to herself Natsuki rushed out of the study, managing to reach the entrance hall just as Shizuru opened the door. Her smile widened as Shizuru met her with an answering smile.

“Here, let me take your jacket.” Natsuki handed Shizuru her house slippers and proceeded to help the taller woman out of her stylish suit jacket. Not really thinking about it Natsuki picked up Shizuru’s briefcase to put away as she backed a step and said, still smiling “I’ll heat up our dinner, it’ll just be a moment.”

“How did things go at your new job?” As she began to turn away to go put Shizuru’s briefcase in the study, something in Shizuru’s expression made her freeze. Shizuru was looking at her with such a funny expression, blushing slightly even. Why?

Dark green eyes widened as it hit her.

She had just met the older woman by the door, practically with slippers in hand, helped her take off her jacket and more or less informed her that she had dinner ready. All that was missing was a kimono and kneeling at the steps as Shizuru came in and Natsuki would have played the role of the traditional Japanese housewife greeting her husband just perfectly.

The blush was instant and so fierce it should have lit up the room.

“On second thought, you can heat up dinner, I’ll be right back.” Natsuki wheezed as she spun around, intending to make her escape to the study where she could make her heartbeat slow down without looking even more foolish in front of Shizuru.

Natsuki only made it a few steps before long and deceptively strong arms closed around her and a warm body moulded itself to her back as if made just for that purpose. Shizuru’s breath was hot in Natsuki’s ear and Natsuki felt herself shiver as Shizuru whispered to her. “Thank you Natsuki. You make me feel so special.”

On its own accord Natsuki’s free hand found its way up one of the arms encircling her, and she managed to turn just enough in the tight embrace to look up at Shizuru. They were so close, Shizuru was so warm and Natsuki felt so safe, and, oh, those eyes, Natsuki could lose herself in those eyes.

“You are special… Shizuru…” It was barely a whisper and then they were drawn towards one another, Natsuki’s heart beating so hard in her chest she almost could not hear anything above the roar in her ears, then…

The image rose as always unbidden, pale skin in the moonlight, soft moaning in the silence and her name, spoken in a trembling, hushed whisper.

NO! No, damn it all! Not now!

But it was already over, the moment broken as the image stirred the emotional vipers’ nest it always did inside Natsuki. Natsuki bit back a sigh and, for the briefest of moments, leaned her head against Shizuru’s shoulder.

Then she gently disentangled herself, giving Shizuru a small apologetic smile as she did so. “Go ahead and heat up dinner, I’ll just be a moment.” This time Natsuki wasn’t stopped as she went to the study to put away the briefcase. She didn’t look back but knew anyway that the other woman remained standing there, looking after her with shadowed eyes that Natsuki was afraid to read.

Natsuki was true to her word and returned immediately to the kitchen and Shizuru’s side, where she started setting the small kitchen table for them as Shizuru heated the food, neither of them particularly inclined to use the large dining room when it was just the two of them. Over dinner they engaged in easy, quiet conversation about Shizuru’s first day at work, and Natsuki finally heard the story from Shizuru herself of how she came to be the principal of the school she had graduated from just a few months previously.

Eventually dinner was finished and the dishes stacked away, and Natsuki told Shizuru what she had learned from the others during the day.

“I did not realise that Yuuki-san and Alyssa-chan’s situations were so dire.” Shizuru said in a quiet voice, her eyes distant and serious.

“Neither did I, although I should have… Nao told me about her past, about her mother… I should have realised.” Natsuki was genuinely upset with herself for the oversight, although the way she displayed her emotions was somewhat restrained as usual. “In a way I was fortunate, when mother died at least was I wealthy, money has never been an issue. And while I can’t count it as a blessing that the First District took me in to continue mother’s experiments and to train me, at least they gave me the skills to survive.” A self-depreciating smile. “Not to mention a direction, a purpose for my life in my hatred of them.”

Shizuru watched Natsuki with a troubled expression in dark red eyes. “You really see yourself and Yuuki-san as that similar?”

“Of course.” Natsuki seemed surprised at the question, but smiled before continuing. “If not for people like you… no, if not for _you_, I would have been her. Nao never had anyone that reached out to her, anyone who cared.” Natsuki reached out to take Shizuru’s hand, holding it in both of hers. She placed the hand over her heart, earning a gasp from Shizuru.

“She never had… this.” Lightly tracing patterns on Shizuru’s hand with her fingers.

They stood like that, merely looking at one another for a long moment, until finally Natsuki placed a single soft kiss on the knuckles of the hand she held, before moving away.

“So what do you think of my plan?”

Shizuru followed Natsuki into the living room and onto the lavish couch where they usually watched TV or relaxed in front of a fire in the fireplace, Natsuki curling up turned towards Shizuru as they sat. “I agree, it is a good idea. Allow me to see what I can do about living arrangements for both families though… I am sure that I can come up with something acceptable.”

“I’m sure you will.” Natsuki smiled and, after a brief moment of hesitation, motioned for Shizuru to turn around. When Shizuru acquiesced Natsuki began a slow and thorough massage of the taller woman’s neck and shoulders. “If you can find them affordable living-space that will settle things for Nao and her mother.”

Shizuru sighed happily, leaning into the firm touch.

“Alyssa-chan and Miyu is another matter though. Even if they accept my proposal it will only solve part of the problem… and probably the smallest part of the problem at that.”

“I will talk to Haruka-san about getting Miyu-san and Alyssa-chan joint accommodations at the dorms under other names, but that will only work for a short while. The SEARRS foundation knows that they are here and if they are intent on locating them it won’t be hard.” Shizuru considered. “For Miyu Greer the simplest solution would be to have someone appointed her guardian for the years left until she officially turns eighteen. Director Fumi-san, Midori-san or possibly Yohko-san might agree to that if we explain the situation.”

“That only leaves Alyssa-chan.” Natsuki sighed. “I would like to think that whatever remains of SEARRS would be smart enough, not to mention otherwise busy, not to try anything regarding Alyssa and cause Miyu to take action against them. But I don’t trust those putrid organisations as far as even little Alyssa-chan could throw them.”

“For Alyssa-chan the best would be if we could arrange for someone to officially adopt her, but it would be difficult. Even if the paperwork is easy enough to have arranged, finding someone that could sign up for it, even if it was only on paper, would be complicated. Because of who and what she is, and because of Miyu-san, it would have to be one of us involved in the HiME festival, and that leaves only myself, Haruka-san, Fumi-san, Midori-san and perhaps Yohko-san as even remotely possible due to age. Haruka-san, Fumi-san and myself might still be considered too young without a blood claim if anyone should bring things to official attention, which then leaves Midori-san and Yohko-san.”

“And all would be moot point if SEARRS can actually produce someone with a blood tie to Alyssa-chan, right?” Natsuki stopped her massage for a moment and leaned against Shizuru’s back. “That was what I figured.”

“Natsuki?” Shizuru asked hesitantly, one hand going up to entwine her fingers with Natsuki’s where it rested on Shizuru’s shoulder. “Alyssa-chan’s situation seems to be bothering you particularly much… is there anything I…”

To Shizuru’s shock and unspoken delight she felt the brief press of a kiss on her back where Natsuki rested her head. Slender but strong arms changed their grip until they wrapped firmly around Shizuru and Natsuki shifted in her seat until they were both leaning back somewhat with Shizuru sitting in between Natsuki’s legs using the younger woman as a backrest.

Shizuru tried not to blush.

“Shizuru… that day… the reason I couldn’t summon Duran…” Shizuru knew instantly by the pained tone of Natsuki’s voice alone what day she spoke of, even had not Natsuki specified it by mentioning her lost Child, and stiffened in fearful reaction. “I was approached that day by a representative for SEARRS. A man that called himself John Smith. He claimed he wanted to trade information with me, Miyu’s location for information on my mother’s death.”

Shizuru squeezed Natsuki’s arms in silent support as the other woman paused for a deep breath, secretly still fearful that the topic would turn to the other sequence of events that began that day and hurting so much on Natsuki’s behalf that there was little more she could do than offer support whatever way Natsuki would allow.

“In retrospect he was setting me up so that I would be easy prey, starting that whole carefully staged process with which the playing field was cleared of everyone but Mai and Mikoto.” A pained whisper made Shizuru close her eyes. “We were all manipulated, Shizuru. The Dark Lord knew us too well… knew that if I was broken you would do anything to protect me… manipulated Nao and Yukino to come after us when you were hurting and I was too weak to stop things from happening.”

“We were the dancing princesses, and in the end we all danced exactly the way he wanted us to… except for Mai and Mikoto.”

“That day John Smith told me that my mother had sold her HiME research, the research she’d gotten from tests performed on _me_, to the SEARRS foundation in secret, along with her one test subject… her daughter.”

Shizuru gasped in horror, knowing at last the despair that had taken over Natsuki so badly back then that the formidable young HiME had been completely powerless.

“The First District found out and was chasing us… and they lay in ambush at the cliff, making mother lose control over the car and run over the edge.” Natsuki’s voice was thick with old pain. “I know that Smith was lying. And I also know, as I knew then, that he was telling the truth.”

“I found the numbers to mother’s secret bank account, the one where SEARRS had paid her a fortune in blood money for the secrets of the HiME. I know she gave them her research, and that the First District killed her for it.” Natsuki hid her face in Shizuru’s hair for a moment. “I also know that whatever the original deal might have been, mother wasn’t planning on handing me over to anyone. That was why we were running that night.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, Natsuki taking comfort in Shizuru’s closeness and Shizuru letting these few final pieces to the puzzle that was her beloved fall into place.

“SEARRS created an artificial HiME in Alyssa-chan. Does that mean…?” Shizuru asked hesitantly after a while.

“Alyssa-chan was created from the information supplied by my mother, I am sure of that. The information she got from the tests she performed on me.” A small sigh. “If not for me Alyssa-chan would ultimately not have existed either. I feel… some responsibility… or kinship, of a kind, I guess.”

Shizuru turned slightly in Natsuki’s arms, just enough to be able to reach up and caress a pale cheek. “We will find a way to make everything work out.” She closed her eyes against the irony of her own words. “I promise.”

Suddenly Shizuru found herself upended and jostled for a brief moment, before Natsuki’s arms settled Shizuru against herself again… now lying prone in the couch, with Shizuru draped over Natsuki, legs entangled with one another and Shizuru’s head tucked in under Natsuki’s chin. Natsuki’s strong arms were wrapped around Shizuru, her hands playing slightly in Shizuru’s hair.

Shizuru’s heart hammered in her chest, and underneath her ear she could hear Natsuki’s beat a matching rhythm.

“Is… this… alright, Shizuru?”

Unlike her actions or the arms wrapped firmly around Shizuru, Natsuki’s voice was uncertain and fragile. Shizuru fought back the tears that stung her eyes at the sound of it.

Her Natsuki, her brave, bold Natsuki that kept a mask of icy anger and, sometimes, arrogance to shield her from the world. That kept people from coming too close, so close that they would see that underneath the cool exterior was a warm and tender-hearted woman with needs and longings like any other. An easily embarrassed woman with a surprising interest in luxurious lingerie, that liked sweet-tasting things and cute puppies, a woman whose eyes danced with light when she laughed.

A lonely young woman starved for affection but knew no way to ask for it.

How desperately Shizuru wanted to be the one to provide all the love and affection Natsuki required. What she wouldn’t do for the chance to lavish all her boundless love upon this precious creature that was the centre of her universe, until the hurt in those green eyes was chased away. How she dreamed of for just a single moment to see Natsuki smile from her heart, unrestrained.

How she loved her.

“Yes.”

Hands that had stilled for a moment continued to run through dark blonde tresses with renewed reverence, and although Shizuru could not see it in the dark, Natsuki smiled for just a moment.

Something still bothered the younger woman though, and finally she had to ask. “Shizuru? Did you arrange my dorm-room?”

“You have a dorm-room?” Shizuru’s surprise was clear.

“You didn’t have it arranged for me?”

“No… perhaps Haruka-san did, but I was not informed.” Shizuru’s reluctance and uncertainty was obvious even though she tried not to be. “I see. Did you wish to… to…”

“Shizuru.” Natsuki’s voice was so quiet Shizuru had to strain to hear it. “Do you want me to move out?”

“Never!” The gasped but fervent whisper as Shizuru unconsciously clutched at Natsuki’s shirt was all that needed to be said.

Finally some tension left both of the forms entangled on the couch, as the room grew from shadowed to dark. They lay in silence, savouring the bond between them… the bond that had proven stronger than sanity, stronger than pain, stronger even than life and ultimately death. It was a rare moment where no voices in their minds, no memories or unspoken fears could intrude. And slowly, as the moon rose to begin its journey across the sky outside, they drifted into sleep.

---

The following day started somewhat awkwardly as Shizuru and Natsuki were awoken by the furiously blushing Erstin, having slept all night in their intimate embrace on the couch and therefore never heard any alarms go off at their usual time. There was a certain salvation to be found in their acute lack of time for morning pleasantries as Natsuki, being the more sluggish one to awaken, had sleepily renewed her grip on her tall bed-mate, burrowed her face into Shizuru’s neck, and told the blonde not to go away. A brief moment later Natsuki had thrown herself off the couch as her mind finally woke up, and both women were too awkward about the situation to do more than blush and mumble all through their hastily prepared breakfast.

While Shizuru’s work day went smoothly and with Shizuru deeply unnerving her co-worker Haruka by having a sunny smile plastered on her lips the entire day through, Natsuki’s day would be one to remember.

The classes and subjects could not keep Natsuki’s attention, so as soon as none of her friends were speaking to her Natsuki’s thoughts began to drift along… on a subject with red eyes and dark blonde hair. Right before lunch Natsuki’s class had Midori teaching them English, and Natsuki’s thoughts had wandered once more.

She did not even notice it herself until a sudden silence registered with her, and it was not the usual silence of the classroom. With a sudden jerk she looked towards the front of the classroom, and Midori staring at her oddly.

It wasn’t just Midori though, every single person in the room had turned and was staring at her with a range of shocked – or, in the case of Chie and Aoi, delighted – expressions on their faces. Mai was even blushing.

Midori cleared her throat and brought Natsuki’s attention back to herself. “No Natsuki-chan… the first line on page twelve of your textbook is not pronounced ‘Shizuru’.”

Natsuki’s reaction was immediate. She froze mid-movement and, faster than the naked eye could have followed, turned a red colour so bright it should have been accompanied by a blaring klaxon and running men in uniform.

Instead, the room exploded around her.

Girls were alternately giggling, shrieking or sighing, most of them blushing and with a faraway expression as the exclamation “So romantic!” was heard from Aoi and then was taken up as a chorus by the rest. Chie still managed to be heard as she slapped Natsuki on the shoulder and asked excitedly “So it is THAT good, huh?!”

At that comment several boys in the room, Tate among them, developed a sudden nosebleed problem and any hope Midori had held of returning the class to order was swiftly lost in the chaos.

The sudden relocation of so much blood in Natsuki’s system after the hectic morning she had did not sit well. With a sudden lurch the room tilted and went dark to the sound of a loud thud that momentarily overpowered all other noises around Natsuki. Distantly she heard Mai’s worried exclamation of “Oh my god! I think you broke her, Midori-chan!”

Faintly Natsuki heard the flustered teacher’s unthinking response “Me? I haven’t done anything! Shizuru is the one that broke her - and on a school night, too!”

Then everything went quiet for a while.

When she came to again Natsuki was lying on cool sheets with far too many clothes on, and everything she could see was bathed in white. A moment later, as her eyes focused, the whiteness turned out to be a privacy sheet hung around one of the emergency cots in the school physician’s office. Although she had been hurt a lot during her relentless crusade against the First District, Natsuki had never actually been a patient in those rooms before… but even so she felt fairly certain that it was not supposed to be so noisy.

Outside the white drapes several people were moving about, and the school nurse herself, Yohko, was barking out orders and sounding generally stressed out. When eventually Natsuki heard what was being said she groaned silently and hid underneath the thin blanket that was draped over her.

“Midori!” Yohko sounded exasperated in a way only her old friend seemed able to inspire. “What have you done this time? I’ve got half your class in here with nose-bleeds and dizziness and god knows what else!” In a lower voice “Were you doing something weird again, like teaching them your drinking songs?”

“Hey! It wasn’t my fault!” Midori whined and waved her arms about for emphasis. “No-one told me it wasn’t safe to ask Natsuki a question when she seems distracted! How was I supposed to know that she was mooning over the principal?”

“Kuga Natsuki and principal Fujino?!” In surprise Yohko’s voice became jarringly loud, and by the chorus of groans on the other side of the white drapes, it did not improve matters for the group of boys that had needed a trip to the nurse’s office. “Aw, damnit!” Yohko cursed and dashed over to her groaning patients. “Mai, I’m commandeering you, alright? Help me out here.”

Over the muffled sounds of Mai and Yohko both saying things like “pinch the bridge of your nose like this and lean forward” Midori called out, sounding concerned “Yohko, she’s not waking up… should I get principal Fujino to come here?”

That got Natsuki rushing from her hiding place in the bed to assure her teacher that she was alright, and that there was really no reason whatsoever to disturb Shizuru with her little fainting spell. Eventually Yohko took pity on the flustered girl and allowed her to sneak off to lunch as quietly as she could.

By the time Natsuki had calmed down and gotten her old mask in place so that she could go meet Shizuru for lunch as promised, lunch itself had already started. Sneaking around so that she would avoid contact with gossiping classmates Natsuki had almost made it to the secluded spot where she was supposed to meet Shizuru, when she ran into the older woman.

Shizuru had apparently begun searching for Natsuki when Natsuki was late, and encountered Aoi and Chie on the way. Natsuki’s two classmates were filling Shizuru in on all the details of Natsuki’s slip-up to Natsuki’s abject horror.

Aoi was giving a performance with a dreamy, far-away look and a deep, longing sigh that made Natsuki blush all on its own, then all but moaned “Shiiizuuuruuu…”

The woman in question blushed prettily and fluttered one graceful hand to her mouth. “Ara, ara…”



---unfinished----

The One Most Precious pt 1

Mai HiME fanfic. A dropped story that was supposedly about the return of an old threat to the HiME, the return of their powers, and most importantly the getting together for my various favorite couples of that series. As it was dropped these two snippets are mostly about Shizuru and Natsuki.
(Shizuru/Natsuki, Mai/Mikoto) First part out of two before dropped.

Read The One Most Precious pt 1





Disclaimer: Based on the anime Mai HiME, set a short while after the end of the series. I might possibly have changed some small things from what they are in the anime, such as maybe ages.

If you can accept, oh I don't know, flying squid/dragons and metal wolves, then I'm sure you can just nod and accept my flimsy excuse for having Shizuru and Haruka employed at the school. ;P



The One Most Precious pt 1 of 2
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by Carola “Ryûchan” Eriksson





Kuga Natsuki stared in disgust at the schoolbooks thrown in a haphazard pile on the grass next to her feet. For a brief, fleeting moment she had the urge to pick them up, venture over to a particular tree next to one of the school buildings and throw them at the annoying individual who thought he could play teacher to her after all this time. She knew just where to aim, too.

But no, she reminded herself, she was a responsible individual that was above such childish actions… even if the teacher in question thought way too highly of himself for a former secret agency dog, and even if he had rather successfully ruined her semi-planned summer of relaxation and introspection.

Not to mention that if she did, he would probably make good on his threat to make her re-do all three years of school instead of just the one she was now forced to do. And if he did that…

If he did that, then Shizuru would make good on her threat also, and get herself assigned to Natsuki’s class to re-do her school years also. As if it wasn’t enough that the older girl had cheerfully but inescapably tutored, badgered and dragged Natsuki through enough studies during the summer to earn enough extra credit to pacify the school board in terms of those first two years.

Natsuki sighed and closed her eyes.

She wasn’t even sure what she had wanted to do during the summer anyway… get some long overdue rest after her long years of fighting, certainly, but specifically? One part of her had wanted some solitude to sort out her feelings about the past year, her friends, what to do with her life from now on, and most importantly… sort out her feelings for the older girl. The other part of Natsuki had looked forward to the possibility of convincing Shizuru to go away with her, someplace far away from Fuuka, just the two of them. Now that thought was quite frightening for some reason, especially due to the pang of intense longing that the thought still brought to Natsuki.

As things were they had spent almost every waking moment of the summer together, but almost never alone, and always, _always_ while Natsuki was supposed to cram her head with more information than it was made for. Damn, being a lone vigilante on a crusade against a corrupt and evil organisation was much, much easier than this. She’d rather take dodging bullets and jumping cars with her motorcycle any day.

Natsuki really wanted a vacation.

A shadow fell across her face and with some distant amazement Natsuki realised that she instinctively knew who the shadow belonged to as her body tensed up and a strange shiver raced down her spine.

“Ara, did I wake you?” The warm, melodious voice and the lilting Kyoto dialect washed over Natsuki with a sense of inevitability. Of course she had been right. Of course it was…

“Shizuru.”

Shizuru was leaning over Natsuki, just that tiny bit closer and crossing the line from friendliness to hinting at something intimate. Natsuki was not surprised. For almost as long as they had known one another, Shizuru had always been physically affectionate with Natsuki, and Natsuki, who would never have allowed that from anyone else, had accepted that. But there had always been a certain tiny, almost indefinable, distance Shizuru never crossed, a polite line that kept Natsuki from considerations she was not ready for.

When the horrifying events had forced Shizuru’s secret love for Natsuki into the open, Shizuru had drawn back completely. Although she withheld nothing in words or actions, she had not attempted to touch Natsuki at all, not even in the most innocent of ways until the end. The look of stark pain and hurt in those almost blood-red brown eyes still haunted Natsuki’s dreams, one of many things related to the other woman that would make the tough former vigilante wake from her dreams in a cold sweat and with a silent scream clawing at her throat.

The knowledge hung heavily on Natsuki that with one instinctive flinch and one single word, she, Kuga Natsuki, had broken the woman that embodied everything that Natsuki admired but would never hope to aspire to. No, not only broken, but utterly shattered her.

Shizuru, the strong, graceful and noble woman that had faced the storm that was upon them all with dignified calm, had been driven insane by Natsuki’s perceived rejection and her own guilt. And she had proven the unending depth of her love when she, in a twisted attempt to protect Natsuki, had damned herself with blood and death to keep Natsuki safe.

The memory of what had been done, and the very real possibility that somewhere, someday that same darkness could be brought forth once more as Shizuru truly would not hesitate to do anything for Natsuki’s sake, was like a roiling black cloud in the back of Natsuki’s mind that she dared not dwell to closely on or she would be brought to her knees vomiting. God only knew what it would do to Shizuru.

Natsuki had refused to investigate whether or not Shizuru’s rampage had been erased like so much else that night, opting to live with the belief instead of a solid fact even though it was usually against her nature. She never brought the subject up with Shizuru, and the other woman had not spoken of the events since the night she weeping had asked for Natsuki’s forgiveness over and over.

As well as she had been able at the time, with the world coming apart around them and Natsuki having to lead all of them into battle, Natsuki had tried to tell Shizuru that she accepted her emotions, accepted Shizuru, and that Shizuru had a claim on Natsuki’s own heart that could not be denied. Whatever else had been the outcome of that night, Natsuki no longer held back, or at least not as much.

Natsuki had lived in a world of being virtually untouchable, the piercing intensity of her gaze and the dangerous and unapproachable aura she emitted kept people at a distance, admiring her perhaps, respecting her perhaps, but also just enough afraid of her to not venture near enough to be noticed. It was taking time to get used to Shizuru permanently fixed to her side, draped over her shoulder or in a death-grip around her neck, but Natsuki was getting there.

And it felt rather… nice, really.

“I wasn’t asleep. I was just… thinking.” Natsuki smiled a little as she looked up at the woman still leaning over her. Her eyes locked on this vision and she found herself staring helplessly.

Reflected sunlight was casting a surreal glow over Shizuru’s face, and the way she leaned over Natsuki… it was just like… Natsuki’s heart began thundering in her chest and a ball of ice formed in the pit of her stomach. The image came to her unbidden…

The light of the full moon bathed the room through the window, undoubtedly casting their silhouettes in sharp relief against the shoji, turned Shizuru’s smooth, flawless skin into alabaster porcelain and her lips into a red colour almost matching her eyes as she leaned down towards Natsuki with parted lips and desire in her eyes…

The panic flashed through Natsuki like a tidal wave, and it took all of her self-control to bite down so that one forbidden word that Natsuki could not, would not ever utter again to Shizuru would not escape her lips in a shrill cry. The red eyes watching her narrowed in concern.

“What are you thinking, Natsuki?” The low voice was filled with loving concern, and made Natsuki feel almost ill with guilt and shame. She tried to summon up an answer, any answer, that would not be a lie and yet not the truth either… she could not lie to Shizuru, but she could not hurt her with the truth either.

Her salvation came in the form of voices shouting her name. Two voices to be exact.

“NATSUKI!”

Shizuru and Natsuki instinctively drew apart a little, startled, just enough for a black-haired bundle to barrel in between them and unceremoniously throw them both to the ground. A somewhat larger, more orange coloured, bundle enthusiastically joined in a breath later.

“Mai, Mikoto…” Natsuki gasped out, identifying the people rather effectively strangling her. “…it’s nice to be loved… but please…” She tried to pull her face back up from a rather inappropriate close-up introduction to Mai’s ample bosom. “…let me breathe!”

With a soft giggle the crushing vice that had been Tokiha Mai withdrew, but Mikoto still had a good grip on Natsuki and was bouncing, squealing the older girl’s name over and over. Natsuki gave in and patted the dark head awkwardly.

“Where have you been, Natsuki? We’ve missed you.” Mai was clearly amused and completely unrepentant. Natsuki had half-expected Mai to apologise or at the very least tell Mikoto to let her up, but instead when Mai apologised, it wasn’t to her.

“President, err, um, Fujino-san! I’m so sorry… did we hurt you?”

From her prone and still Mikoto-covered position Natsuki saw Mai reach over to offer Shizuru some help back up while Shizuru, calm and poised as usual, merely smiled a bit and got up as if being barrelled to the ground by an overly energetic fourteen-year-old was an everyday occurrence.

Shizuru never had the chance to reply as Mikoto suddenly shot up from her death-grip on Natsuki to cast an intense yellow-eyed stare at Shizuru. Then the girl flew from Natsuki to envelop Shizuru in her usual trademark bear hug, nearly toppling the startled blonde in the process. “Shizuru!”

Natsuki smiled at the startled expression on Shizuru’s face, and felt, not for the first time, a wave of honest gratitude towards Mikoto and her immense capacity to love easily and strongly. Natsuki did not doubt that Mikoto and Shizuru had not exchanged more than perhaps two words during all that had gone down in the previous school year, and knew well that Shizuru’s involvement with the other girls marked with the sign of the HiME had been restricted to Yukino-san and herself, that she had at most seen the others when they were in Natsuki’s company.

With the exception of Nao, of course, but the events with Nao and Yukino were things Natsuki knew still plagued Shizuru greatly. Natsuki desperately wished there was something, anything, she could do to mend Shizuru’s relationship at least with Yukino and her Haruka… Shizuru had liked both girls a great deal, even respected them in her own way, and to know that even now Yukino’s eyes would show fear if she saw her former council leader was a cause for continued sorrow and guilt where Shizuru already had so much to carry.

So Natsuki was grateful for Mikoto now, for including the other woman in their circle of close-knit friends even though there was no real reason for the impulsive girl to do so. She also felt a bit envious, wishing she could have the same ability to forgive, forget and love so easily.

This time Mai did gasp and reach for Mikoto slightly. “I apologise, Fujino-san… we were just surprised to see you, and, um, we have been looking for Natsuki…”

Shizuru waved the apology, as well as the hands reaching out to pull at Mikoto, away, smiling beatifically as she hugged the little girl back. “I am pleased to see you again too… Miko-chin.”

Natsuki wondered briefly if it was a sign of adulthood to refer to the unruly and innocent cat-like girl by the nickname Miko-chin, as the only others she knew called Mikoto that was their teacher and fellow HiME Midori and the school doctor Yohko. Knowing those two though, probably not… Midori was still claiming to be seventeen after all, even though everyone knew she had been a classmate of the twenty-five year old Yohko.

The appearance of a pet-name apparently pleased Mikoto who laughed in delight and hugged Shizuru with renewed enthusiasm. Mai and Natsuki both grinned at the sight, Mai, apparently relieved that Mikoto’s burst of affection was not bothering Shizuru, settled down to watch benignly instead.

“I’m surprised to see you here today, Fujino-san… are you here to see Natsuki off to class on the first day of the school year?” Mai brushed some grass off her skirt and, most likely absently, sorted Natsuki’s discarded school books in a neat pile between them as she made polite but genuinely interested conversation with her former senior.

“Shizuru is fine, Tokiha-san.”

Mai shared a mischievously amused look with Natsuki before answering. “Then you can call me Mai as well… Shizuru-san.”

Natsuki’s snort of laughter was none too elegant, but she didn’t care. She knew what Mai had been thinking at Shizuru’s sudden familiarity, and yes, Natsuki too remembered their little, if long overdue, ceasing of formalities on a very small boat out on the water a dark night.

Natsuki also remembered rather vividly what had happened later that night, how she had ended up in her tiny bikini by the edge of the road posing in an extremely exaggerated ‘sexy’ pose on Mai’s insistence so that the two of them and Mikoto would be able to hitchhike back to town… only to find to Natsuki’s utter mortification that none other than Shizuru was seated in the only car that happened to come along.

She simply must remember to pay Mai back for that particular indignity sometime, and in spades, Natsuki reminded herself. An odd thought hit her then… the expression on Shizuru’s face… and her comment about how seeing Natsuki like that had been well worth going out looking for them in the middle of the night… Natsuki found herself wondering if maybe Shizuru had been thinking of her as she went back to bed that night. If just maybe Shizuru had thought of Natsuki and…

Natsuki’s sudden blush was so fierce that even though she instantly tried to cover it by letting her long black hair fall in her face as she slowly sat up, she found both Mai and Shizuru looking at her with some surprise once she had recovered her composure enough to face them.

Once more Mikoto came to Natsuki’s rescue as the girl turned innocently curious golden eyes upon Shizuru and poked the distracted woman in the chest several times.

“Shizuru’s chest is as big as Mai’s!” Mikoto then declared in a loud and surprised voice, completely ignorant to the blushing of all three of her companions. She was just about to test her statement further, this time with both hands, when Natsuki darted forward and snatched her away by a firm grip at the back of her collar.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing, you, you, you breast-fixated alley cat?!” Natsuki hissed, once more blushing furiously, and pushed Mikoto into Mai’s waiting arms. “Your playmate is over there!”

“Honestly!” Natsuki groused to Mai while trying her best not to pout as Shizuru was already watching her with an all too amused and pleased expression on her face. “I thought you were going to do something about that tendency of hers!”

Mikoto happily made herself comfortable lying in Mai’s arms, and the older girl automatically arranged herself in a position better to hold her in, revealing to anyone that cared to look that it was a position they often found themselves in. Mai wrapped her arms around Mikoto and absently played with her hair while Mikoto looked up at her older room-mate with obvious adoration.

“Nope. I wouldn’t change Mikoto for the world.” Mai’s voice was tender as she gazed down at the girl in her lap. “She is perfect just the way she is.”

“I quite understand.” Shizuru smiled and moved just enough to lean up against Natsuki and sling her arm around the flustered dark-haired girl. Any comment Natsuki might have been about to make died a swift and tongue-tied death as blood-red eyes met dark green. Natsuki swallowed hard and tried to remember what she had been doing.

The peaceful scene was intruded upon by the barely audible clicking of a camera shutter and the sound of familiar giggling.

“What a sweet scene!” The tomboyish brunette smirked insolently behind her tiny camera as she took a few additional pictures. “Were you perhaps planning to skip class today to go on a double-date picnic in the park?” Something about the grin on the girl’s face suggested that if the answer was yes, then the double-date would wind up a triple instead.

The gentle-looking girl at the brunette’s side stifled her giggles to wave at the group. “Mai, Mikoto, we were looking for you.” Her blue eyes moved over to where Natsuki still sat with Shizuru’s arm around her. “You too, Kuga-kun… we’re in the same class this year, and you probably don’t want to start the year being tardy.”

“Chie! Aoi!” Mikoto exclaimed happily, causing the brunette to lean down and tickle her sides a little.

“The uniform of the senior school looks good on you, Mikoto-chan.” Chie praised before flicking her short bangs back slightly in a theatrical way.

“Your new look isn’t half bad either, Harada.” Natsuki said with just a touch of feigned sarcasm. “Did you get contact lenses?”

“You’re so observant, Kuga.” Chie’s grin made it clear they were still just playing. “But you know, I’m more popular with the girls this way.”

The wink was interrupted by Aoi reaching up to pinch Chie’s ear. “Behave yourself Chie.” To Natsuki she added briefly. “She only needs the glasses when she is reading, so she will probably still wear them in class. But we need to get going.”

Aoi turned to face Shizuru with a polite bow. “My apologies for the intrusion, Fujino-sensei.”

“Fujino…”

“…-sensei?”

Mai and Natsuki spoke together, turning surprised looks at Shizuru, although it was Chie that answered them.

“What, you didn’t know? The board of directors specifically asked Fujino-sensei to become the new principal of Fuuka academy after graduation. Suzushiro-san has also been called in from what I hear.”

“I am pleased that Haruka-san accepted my invitation. Her passion for Fuuka academy is unrivalled.” Shizuru stated calmly and then gently disentangled herself from Natsuki with some regret. “I suppose I must be going now if I am to hold the welcoming speech to the students.” She sighed and looked forlornly at Natsuki until she appeared to have an idea. “Make sure you sit far in the front rows Natsuki, so I can see you properly.”

“It is almost time now, girls… don’t be late.” Shizuru waved at them ignoring the stunned looks she left behind and, with a small toss of her dark blonde hair, set off to hold the traditional welcoming speech as Fuuka academy’s new principal.

After a moment of stunned silence the remaining girls scrambled to their feet and hurried after Shizuru at a respectful distance, chattering excitedly, or in Natsuki’s case dazedly, to bring everyone up to speed about everyone and everything else. The conversation continued in more hushed tones during the welcome address, the girls only falling completely silent to hear selected parts of Shizuru’s speech.

Natsuki found to her embarrassment that her friends had taken Shizuru’s request to heart, and, while not managing to find seats for them all very far in the front, at least having managed to put Natsuki in a seat at the middle isle so Shizuru could clearly see her. In fact the newly declared principal of Fuuka academy took a moment to wave at Natsuki before beginning her speech, much to the other girls’ delight and Natsuki’s mortification.

By the time the group exited the building, everyone was fairly clear on what had happened to everyone else during the summer, including Natsuki having been bogged down with studies at Shizuru’s mansion. That particular tidbit of information had Chie and Aoi sigh theatrically and make a few, in Natsuki’s opinion inappropriate, comments about Natsuki’s good fortune. Shizuru may have graduated the school but she was still rated as the single most desirable woman on campus among both males and females, which Chie so helpfully reminded Natsuki.

Himeno Fumi, the former HiME and maidservant of the school’s previous owner, Kazahana Mashiro, had formally inherited the school from the ancient child as she returned to the darkness together with the manipulative Nagi. The former maid had good intentions but no knowledge of how to run a school and was quite aware of that fact, so it was she who had approached Shizuru and offered the position as principal for the school. Shizuru in turn had requested that Suzushiro Haruka, her former classmate and colleague in the school’s student council, be brought in as well. Apparently Haruka, with her love for the school so strong that her family had donated money to the restoration of the immense damages done during the secret battles, had accepted despite the fact that she would once again have to answer to her imagined rival Shizuru.

The girls’ old friend and fellow HiME Midori had finally completed her long-awaited thesis, but things had not gone well with her beloved professor. When it turned out the man was married and with several children when Midori had accidentally answered his phone one time as his wife called, Midori had called things off and returned to Fuuka and her best friend, Yohko. It did not take long before the school had approached her with an offer to re-instate her as a full-time teacher and this time Midori accepted whole-heartedly, determined to do right by her students.

Mikoto’s older brother Reito had received and accepted a job offer overseas, but still kept in contact with his little sister through letters and the occasional phone call. Despite his flirtatious comments once the dark lord had been expunged from him, Reito himself had never really had any romantic intentions towards Mai. In fact most of his flirting was because of Tate Yuichi rather than Mai herself, and since she had no particular feelings towards him either other than as the brother of her Mikoto, they had managed to part on friendly terms. Mai’s own brother Takumi, and his constant companion Akira, had finally recovered enough from his operation to return to Japan and to Fuuka, to Mai’s great joy and relief.

Tate had spent a fair part of the summer trying to persuade Mai to date him. For the first week or so after everything had returned to what passed for normal in Fuuka, Mai had been trying to accommodate him, go out with him, spent time doing the things a couple beginning to date might do, and truly attempted to muster up the affection for him that she had believed she held. Eventually it became clear to Mai that Tate had been a fair bit of self-delusion on her part, a form of denial when she could not accept what her true feelings were. Tate had been… just a convenient excuse, as terrible as it felt to acknowledge. She had tried to break it to him gently at first, and then, when he would not get the hint and cease his attempts at wooing her, more directly. As bad as Mai felt for hurting someone that had been a friend when she needed one, she knew they both needed the truth.

And Mai’s truth was that despite her fancy words, even then spoken only for the purpose of keeping her true ‘precious one’ from harm, Mai knew that Tate and her feelings for him had never been the source for her HiME powers. It had been such a transparent lie, too… no other HiME had ever been able to retain her powers should her precious one have been killed, so why should Mai be the only one that would retain hers with only the memory of a loved one?

Tate also needed to learn his own truth, about his real feelings for little Shiho, and not get confused by what teenage hormones and physical attraction might tell him. The irony was that for most part, Mai and Tate couldn’t even stand one another, and now Mai couldn’t begin to understand how things had become so complicated.

Of course no-one could have been happier than Mikoto and Shiho to hear that their respective rivals for the attention of their beloved ones where finally gone.

No-one knew exactly the details since the school’s self-proclaimed ‘reliable source of gossip’ was surprisingly sparing with the details of her own life, but Chie and Aoi had lived together ever since the dorms had been destroyed and their respective families had summoned them back home. As the summer was nearing its end, Chie and Aoi had returned, Chie with her new flashier look and with a digital camera in place of her old phone, and they had managed to get assigned each other as roommates in the new dorms. The two of them and Tate Yuichi were elected to join Kikukawa Yukino in the new student council even, although the new student council would not have quite the same kind of power as the old one had now that the school was going to have a proper adult administrative section and no longer be ruled by the students.

Of those remaining on the list of HiME, Higurashi Akane had finally gotten her family’s approval to get engaged to her boyfriend, and the two of them had transferred schools during the summer to better pursue the education he needed for the profession and solid employment Akane’s father demanded before he would agree to let his little girl get married. The former nun Sanada Yukariko had finally given up the church and married the school’s former art teacher, causing quite a scandal as the couple was expecting their first child much too soon to have been conceived after the two had actually married.

For as long as she had been able to, Yukariko had tried to cover for three other HiME, hiding them away in her church as nuns to provide them with a place to stay. Unfortunately church representatives had visited during the summer, and neither young Yuuki Nao nor the android known as Miyu Greer could believably pass for devout girls even had the representatives not already checked their backgrounds.

Miyu and Nao would easily get rooms at the dorms normally, but in the case of Miyu she had little Alyssa to consider, and officially Alyssa Searrs was now an orphan and thus easy prey for whatever remnants of the SEARRS organisation to come and claim. For now hiding Alyssa seemed the best option, although Miyu would surely fight and defeat anyone that tried to lay a finger on her Alyssa-ojousama. Nao had her mother, who after all these years had finally woken from her coma, and although Nao tried hard to find work where she could to support them, and got as much help as Mai and Aoi could afford, respectively, she had just enough to keep the both of them fed and clothed. Nao could not afford someplace to stay for herself and her mother, and her mother was far too frail to hope to work. Nao could officially stay at the dorms but her mother could not, and so the two of them were currently staying with Chie and Aoi, while Alyssa and Miyu stayed with Mai and Mikoto.

They had all been searching for Natsuki for some time, especially since the discovery that Natsuki had been assigned a single-room dorm down the hall from them, yet no-one had seen nor heard from Natsuki all summer. Apparently the girls had come up with the idea that if Natsuki was not using her dorm room herself, perhaps she could lend it to Nao and her mother for the time being, but Mai had started getting concerned when days passed and there was no sign of Natsuki and, which was discovered thanks to Mikoto climbing balconies to find out, not a single sign of anyone staying in the room assigned her.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called… I got so caught up in… things, that I didn’t realize how much time passed.” Natsuki apologised uneasily, admitting to Mai and Mikoto that she had been spending the entire summer trying to catch up to everyone else academically was one thing, but she didn’t want to say something like that in front of Chie and Aoi, no matter how friendly they were being. Unfortunately that meant that Chie and Aoi assumed she had meant something more romantic with Shizuru, and supplied the usual sighs and exclamations of envy. Natsuki sighed quietly.

“I didn’t even know I had a dorm room assigned.” She frowned unhappily. Did it mean that Shizuru had arranged it for Natsuki, being the principal now and everything? And if she had, did that mean that Shizuru wanted Natsuki to move out? The moving in had happened gradually and, at least on Natsuki’s part, unintentionally… although the point of no return had been Nao and Shizuru demolishing the entire building in their battle, and after everything had returned to something resembling normal Natsuki had just been reluctant to leave Shizuru alone.

What if this was Shizuru’s way of politely saying that enough was enough? The other woman seemed pleased with Natsuki’s presence in her home, but what if Natsuki had just been ignorant… again?

“I…” Natsuki hesitated. “I need to check some things first, but if I’m not going to use the room myself, then of course Nao and her mother can have it.” Another thought hit Natsuki then. “In fact… I might be able to do something more for Nao and, well, Alyssa as well. I have to look into some things before I know for certain, but I should be able to help some at least.”

The group was chatting eagerly as they moved across the schoolyard heading towards the newly restored cafeteria, none of them thinking to look up at the towers and spires of the buildings around them, or up at the Fuuka Mountain as it cradled the entire school on its slopes.

No-one saw the brief flash of red light near the mountain’s peak.

No-one saw the shadowed figure crouching on the restored dome of the library building. No-one among them sensed the eyes that followed their path with such unfettered hatred.



Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Under the Red Star

Mai HiME fanfic. Natsuki's thoughts right before the anime finale. (Natsuki/Shizuru)

Read Under the Red Star





Disclaimer: Based on the anime Mai HiME, owned by I know not whom. Lesbian of course, but then again so are the characters in the show. ;) Set in a moment roughly in episode 17.


Under the Red Star
--------------------------------------
by Carola “Ryûchan” Eriksson





I toss my helmet to the side before the bike has stopped completely, not caring where it lands. The journey here was fast and dangerous, but I never felt the wind, never felt the excitement other people do on a motorcycle. I never do. It was never about freedom for me.

I started my journey in the mountain behind Fuuka academy, when the trees gave me no shelter and the view of all of Fuuka laid out beneath me gave no solace. The ominous buildings and paths that are our battleground looked as if painted by blood under the setting sun, and I could bear to look at them no longer.

Instead I have come here, to this fateful twist in a narrow winding road that will haunt me forever. I have come here to stare out over dark and churning waters that once ended the person that was my life, not to honour her or to repeat my oath of vengeance as at any other time I might have done. No, today I have come here because I need to think.

I do not need to look up at the darkening sky to know that it is there… that accursed red star, taunting me, challenging me with all it represents. Sometimes I think I can feel the mark burning on my back, the mark that binds me to it. The red sign that marks me as a HiME.

It has been a long road, coming to this moment. A hard one, and sometimes it surprises me that I still have the strength in me to keep fighting… still have the hate in me to keep fighting.

It has been eleven years now, eleven years since the death… no, the murder, of my mother. If I close my eyes I can still see her at the wheel, still hear the roar of the water as it filled the car around us, still taste the blood in my mouth just as I passed out.

At six years old I was left alone in the world, but I survived. And I grew up hard.

I have neither patience nor inclination for the games that the children that are supposed to be my age-mates play… I fight for real, to find the answers to my questions, and most importantly, to make them pay. The whole accursed lot of them, I will bring that foul organisation down somehow, I swear I will.

Oh mother… why did you research HiME? Surely you knew by the mark on my body that I was one? What were you trying to accomplish… why did they kill you?

Were you… protecting me?

I think you were, at least at the end. Your final words to me say as much, but there are other things, other questions, that leave a sick feeling in my gut and a bitter taste in my mouth.

Why did you name my dog Duran? Did you know that I as a HiME would be bound to a Child named Duran? Did you know all that, and yet continued your research? On the other hand, how could you have known? I think not even Nagi knows what Child will be called to which HiME in the time of awakening… he would not have allowed someone so wilful as Mai possess the powerful Kagutsuchi if he could have prevented it, I’m sure.

But that is not what is bothering me tonight, not really.

If there is one thing besides how to hate the organisation responsible that my mother’s death has taught me, it is not to care about anyone. In the end you lose everyone… in the end, you will always be alone.

Never trust anyone. Everyone has their own agenda and will betray you eventually, if you allow yourself to believe in them. Trust only in yourself, in what you can do, and in the Child that is an extension of your own body. If those let you down it will only be your own damn fault.

The HiME contract, the price we are forced to pay for the power we never asked for, should be no problem for me then. It is simple, if I do not have that one precious, beloved person to value above all else, then there is also no-one whose life will be in danger should Duran and I ever lose the battle. That’s fine then, isn’t it? Just my own life on the line, as always.

Except… I can’t say that I don’t care anymore, can I?

Hell, I’ve even come to the point where I have to… reluctantly and privately… admit that Mai and Mikoto are my friends. Yes, even that annoying little pest, Mikoto, managed to grow on me in the end, but Mai… Mai I respect and, maybe just the tiniest smidgen, would trust to have my back if needed. I wouldn’t admit to it under torture, certainly, but the feeling is there. And ironically, considering how we all met, I know they view me as a friend too.

Still, if that was all there was to it, Duran would be my most precious ‘person’, and there would be no dilemma.

I have ignored it for so long… denied it for even longer. But I can’t afford to lie to myself about you now, can I?

Shizuru.

My friend. Family, even… I can’t really deny that… you have been the only one to look after me, to care about me, for so long. And I have felt at home, at peace, in your presence. The rest of the students at the school wonders why the glorious president of the student council, the uncrowned queen of Fuuka, is so willing to put up with my coming and going at odd hours. My behaviour must seem so strange to them, and your tolerance even stranger.

Yet they have never seen me at your door late at night, never seen you peel me out of tattered leathers to tend whatever wounds lay underneath without a question. Never seen me falling asleep from exhaustion in your care only to wake up, warm and safe, tucked in on your couch the next morning. Never seen us drinking your favourite tea under the moon, talking about everything and anything until sunrise. Never seen that smile grace your lips that I know is just for me.

As frightening as it is to admit, I trust you implicitly. Whatever you asked of me I would do and not think twice about it. You must know this, because you have never asked for anything.

I look at Mai and Mikoto, these friends I somehow gathered on this path, and surprisingly it hurts to see their foolishness. Mikoto is naïve, and whoever it was that raised her obviously taught her precious little of the world or of humanity, and so no-one can really fault her for her inability to properly convey her… affection. She loves easily and greatly, it is a bit humbling to know that so much affection and loyalty is directed even in my direction, as her friend… but her ignorance with emotions leaves her unable to properly express the difference between her love for us, her friends, and her love for Mai.

There is no doubt in my mind that Mikoto truly and deeply loves Mai, far more than the friendship she has for the rest of us. Mai is the centre of Mikoto’s universe and I think we all know it. One day, if they live to see it, I’m sure Mikoto will find a way to state her love clearly enough for even Mai to understand.

Mai… is confused, denying herself. In love with a boy, is she? It would almost be laughable if I didn’t know that she is hurting herself over it. I wish I could shake some sense into her sometimes, yell at her to wake up before it is too late. The person she risks each time she goes into battle isn’t her little brother, and it certainly isn’t that hormonal fool that follows her around. No, silly Mai HiME, I was there the day we thought that building had crushed Mikoto. I saw your face, your eyes when you thought she had died. I heard your voice when you screamed for her.

I have to remind myself that I don’t have the right to interfere in their business these days, as foreign as that concept is to me. After all, they have known one another for only a short time, and who am I to judge? I have kept you waiting for such a long time, Shizuru.

Yes, kept you waiting. You see, my beautiful princess, I am not quite as blind as I might seem.

The tender words, the gentle touches. The looks when you think I do not notice… the innuendo, sometimes incredibly blatant, that you think I will write off as your odd sense of humour… the way you stand so close. They way our eyes meet and draw us closer if I am not careful. The slight blush in your cheeks and the… hunger… in your eyes when you see my naked skin.

The way my heart beats faster when you are close to me.

The fear I have felt when a few brave souls have dared to joke about my sexuality, suggesting in jest that my lack of interest in the dating game must mean I prefer women. How my mortification is ever far worse if it is you that would catch me in an embarrassing situation than any other could hope to inspire.

I have even heard you say my name in the night when your longing became too great, in a trembling whisper for your pillow that lit an answering fire in me. I have dreamt of you too, my Shizuru.

So you see, I am not as ignorant as I have pretended. And I am sorry it has taken me so long to face the truth, but not nearly as sorry as I am that I am now putting you in danger just by feeling this… this… these feelings that I have and am still to cowardly to give the name they deserve.

“The person that is dearest…”

I speak the words of my sentence out loud, allowing myself this moment to fully feel their bittersweetness. My dearest one, the one that means everything.

When I leave this place I must perpetuate the lie, make others believe that I care for no-one even if I myself can no longer believe the lie. I can have no weakness, no hesitation, no doubt, no, none at all. I cannot afford it. I cannot risk that fear or self-doubt will allow myself to be defeated.

Should I fail, should I fall, then you… would be lost. That is unacceptable, far more so than my own death could ever be.

So I will not fall. It is decided… come what may, you will be the only one that can make me fall, so I, Kuga Natsuki, will not and can not fail you. And while there is no time now for talk of feelings, please be patient my Shizuru. Please wait for me.

When the battles are over, if you will still have me, we will have tea in your garden.

And I will tell you that I love you too.