Patching Her Up 8: Match

SEIREI NO MORIBITO-fanfic. Balsa always had good reasons why she never could return Tanda's feelings, even if he and Torogai never wanted to understand.
(Balsa/female OC)


This is the eight installment in my series of short stories called "Patching Her Up".

Read Patching Her Up 8: Match

Disclaimer: Seirei no Moribito belongs to Nahoko Uehashi, Production I.G and probably a bunch of others, but then again I’m only borrowing Balsa and the others for a little bit.

My “Patching Her Up” series is just a series of short stories unrelated to one another, from different fandoms, that have a certain theme in common. Each part is a stand-alone.






Patching Her Up 8: Match
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by Carola “Ryûchan” Eriksson







”It’s no more than a scratch.” Balsa pointed out even though she had already taken off her bracer when told to do so. While the injury was insignificant she wasn’t stupid enough to turn down medical care when it was offered her by people she trusted, that and arguing with Tanda or Torogai in order to get them to let it go was just expending more energy than the whole thing was worth.

The ancient little woman nodded sagely as she eyed Balsa’s arm from out of the corner of her eye. “Yes, it is nothing that would kill you. Unless it gets infected.”

The cut was shallow and narrow but long, reaching from wrist to elbow on Balsa’s right arm. The reason her bracers had not done their job protecting some of that area was simply that Balsa had not been wearing them when the attack that would give her the injury came. She had, in fact, been in the river, washing both herself and her clothing at the time.

“Which, knowing you, it will be soon enough.” The old shamaness snorted and took another bite of a pickled egg. “So you will get it patched up. Be grateful.”

“Oh, I am grateful. Even if I think you just insulted my hygiene.” Balsa said sardonically, causing Torogai to chuckle into her food. The woman was older than the very dirt, it seemed, and had not changed a bit since Balsa was a little girl. Still, sometimes Balsa felt as if she wasn’t much younger. “I take it that you won’t see to it personally?”

The old woman snorted again, amused, before she reached over and served herself some more from the cauldron hanging over the fireplace. “No. And Tanda is busy collecting herbs for his medicines right now.”

Balsa nodded, well aware of this and secretly grateful for this moment of being able to fully relax in what was one of the very few places remaining from her childhood that had felt anything remotely like a home. Tanda’s presence always weighed on her, like a yoke pressing her down and growing heavier each passing year. The tension, the expectant glances and wounded looks... it was suffocating sometimes.

She had made her position clear on so many occasions, but it never helped. It hadn’t helped when Tanda was a growing boy of fourteen, and it still hadn’t the last time she had been there to visit. He still gave her the doe-eyed looks, the not so veiled attempts at suggesting she settle down, and he always tried to talk to her about his feelings. Worse, whether by his choice or hers, Torogai always brought up the many ways in which he would make a good father and husband, and point out what a good match he would be for Balsa.

Somewhere along the line Balsa had begun pretending that she did not see or hear Tanda’s attempts, and simply ignored Torogai’s extolling of her student’s virtues. If they after almost twenty years still could not accept that Balsa just wasn’t interested in him, despite her saying so to both of them, clearly and on many occasions, then nothing was going to get through to them. Her only hope was to be patient until Tanda tired of this waiting game he had invented for himself. She knew for an absolute fact that she had never and would never encourage him.

Sooner or later Torogai would insist that Tanda find a woman that would marry him, to take care of him and take him into her clan, even if it wasn’t Balsa. Balsa herself had always hoped it would be sooner.

Which brought them to the current situation.

“She will.” Torogai pointed with her long chopsticks at the young woman who had just entered with a small bowl of water in her hands. “It will be a good opportunity to see her work, but don’t worry, I’ll be watching.”

The young woman smiled timidly. “If Master Torogai wishes it, I will do my best.”

“I know you will, Sakae.” Balsa reassured, smiling slightly in return as the other woman knelt at her side and, as she gently grasped the injured arm, gazed up at Balsa through long, black lashes.

It was an unexpected complication.

When Balsa had received a message from Torogai months earlier that Torogai’s sister’s great-great grandchild needed an escort from her remote village, Balsa had not thought twice about changing her plans, and set out immediately. If anything she had been intrigued that there was living kin to the ancient shamaness, that there existed proof that Torogai had not simply sprung out of the dirt in the dawn of time.

The village itself had been as all villages of the Yakue were to Balsa, warm, accepting and welcoming, tugging at the hidden strings of her heart and making her wish for somewhere, someplace, to belong to. Torogai’s sister Furugan, the much, much younger sister the tiny woman insisted, was all but identical to the cantankerous old woman Balsa had known for most of her life.

The sight of the grandchild however had brought all of Balsa’s senses to an abrupt standstill.

She was somewhat on the tall side, reed slender yet with curves generous enough to make Balsa’s mouth go dry on several occasions during their brief acquaintance, and her darkly tanned skin looked tantalizingly smooth and inviting. Ironically, at that first meeting none of that registered in Balsa’s mind. All she could see was the beautiful face, with large brown eyes and full and dangerously compelling lips, framed by long, gentle waves of soft black hair.

Although Sakae now, in Torogai’s presence, acted demurely and with the respect towards an elder woman that was the Yakue way, when Balsa had first seen her she had immediately marked herself as something of a quiet rebel. When scolded by her mother for not wearing the traditional topknot in front of their visitor her reply may have been softly spoken and unassuming, but Balsa had seen a spark of temper in dark eyes as well as a touch of pride. Sakae wore her hair as she wanted because she would not be anything other than who she was, and she left it up to others whether to accept her as such or not.

The hidden amusement on the old woman’s face and the mother’s resigned sigh had spoken volumes. Balsa had wanted to tell herself that this was why Sakae intrigued her, and why her eyes continued to seek the woman out for the duration of that evening. Unfortunately Balsa was more than old enough to know better.

Balsa, Sakae and a handful of other Yakue heading towards other villages on the way to Yogo set out the following morning, and it was no small journey to undertake. As men and women in the small company left them, reaching their destinations along the way, new joined in, and as such Balsa and Sakae were never alone. She was grateful for that, unsettled by how strong her attraction for the younger woman was, and uncomfortable with the rather obvious fact that the intrigue was not one-sided.

For the duration of their journey, Sakae had made it no secret that she was fascinated by Balsa. Although soft-spoken and gentle, the younger woman was surprisingly hard to dissuade once she had decided something... and Sakae was interested in hearing everything there was about Balsa, whether about her past or her person.

Balsa ascribed this interest to that she was, as all the people from Sakae’s village had called her to begin with, the protector of Nyuga Ro Chaga, and something of a living legend among the Yakue by now. Chagum’s tale would be passed on down the generations, and Balsa’s own part in it would be remembered in Yakue myths long after even her bones were dust. It was, she supposed, only natural that Sakae, a shamaness in training, would want to hear the accounts in Balsa’s own words when she had the chance.

It was difficult though, Balsa was by nature rather taciturn as it was, and to speak of that harrowing yet joyous time she had been given with the boy her heart named ‘son’ and her reason called ‘prince’ did not come easy. Sakae had a way of wheedling the words out with little more than a kind smile though, and her questions were not limited to just Balsa’s time with Chagum.

While hers was a solitary life, by necessity and choice a warrior’s life, Balsa had not gone through it unaware of her preferences, nor without knowing a lover’s touch. Though they had been few and, with the exception of the very first one, casual encounters, the women Balsa had been with had left her at least not completely ignorant to flirtatious advances.

This time however Balsa doubted herself. The blushing, the special smiles, the gentle touches... the heated looks... there must be another explanation. This wonderful young woman could not be interested in a worn old warrior like Balsa, not like that.

With a careful touch Sakae cleaned the scratch, applied salve and expertly bandaged Balsa’s arm. Balsa watched her do it without meaning to, and their eyes met. Lost for a long moment in eyes so dark brown they almost appeared black, and the warm and almost painful feeling they brought on, Balsa was far less guarded than usual.

Sakae walked away with a hypnotic swing to her hips and a mysterious little smile over her shoulder, presumably to put away the supplies and clean up, and Balsa’s eyes obediently followed.

“She shows promise.” Torogai hummed with approval and an almost smug air, as if she in any way had a hand Sakae’s education until now. “Beautiful, too... resembles me when I was a girl.”

Now that was a sobering if not ridiculous thought, and it snapped Balsa’s attention back to her surroundings quite nicely. She hid her amused smile as well as she could and refrained to comment, knowing by the raised eyebrow and the huff that Torogai read her mind all too well on that point.

“Tanda certainly seems to think so.” The old woman pointed out. “He seemed quite smitten in fact, couldn’t keep his eyes off her.” A sly glance at Balsa to gauge her reaction.

This too was a painfully familiar thing. Torogai would point out the appeal of some young woman that she would suggest could capture Tanda’s eye, or mention marriage offers she had received on behalf of respectable women that might make a good match for him. It was always designed to make Balsa jealous, but Torogai never seemed to realize no matter what Balsa said or did, that the thought of Tanda finding another woman to marry only brought wistful hope.

But this time... this time it was different.

Unbeknownst to Balsa herself she scowled darkly, causing the ancient shamaness to gape in surprise at her. She thought back to how Tanda had acted around Sakae.

When they had been introduced upon Balsa and Sakae reaching the hut, Tanda had indeed reacted rather clearly to Sakae’s beauty, not quite blushing but certainly wide-eyed and a touch bashful. He was exceedingly courteous and considerate towards her, and between his own invented tasks and those given him by Torogai, he had been showing her his skills and abilities at every opportunity.

He had been unusually polite, even for Tanda, and the doe-eyed looks and insinuations towards Balsa were kept to a minimum. The longing and adoring looks were instead directed at Sakae, and even now, in finding a chore which would keep him away for a while, his actions followed a very familiar pattern. This was when Torogai would have attempted to convince Balsa of Tanda’s good qualities as a potential husband in the past, only this time Balsa was not the intended target.

Smitten? It was more than that. Tanda wanted Sakae for his wife.

One of Balsa’s hands had found her spear as Torogai’s words awoke a jealousy and anguish in her that she had never known before. She gripped it so hard her knuckles turned white.

“She will make a good match for Tanda.” The old woman said shrewdly, her eyes not missing a thing in Balsa’s expression. “It is why my sister sent her here, of course. To see if a match could be arranged with my Tanda.”

Balsa said nothing, nor did she move. She merely closed her eyes against the unexpected pain, it felt as if Torogai’s words had run Balsa’s own spear right through her heart, and she was powerless to stop her. She could not even breathe.

“What?” So focused on Balsa’s reaction had Torogai been that she had not seen Sakae return while they were speaking. The young woman looked beyond shocked at the news. “That is why I am here?”

“Ah, yes child.” Torogai said awkwardly, this was not a good way to tell her great-grandniece of the plans she and her sister had come up with, this was not at all the way it was meant to go. “My sister had concerns that there was no-one suited for you in your village, and we both thought that if you met, you and Tanda could come to take a liking to one another. He would make a good husband and a good father.”

The shock was replaced by growing anger, hurt and betrayal. She turned wounded eyes on Balsa. “Did you know of this?”

“No.” Balsa swore in a pained voice, barely more than a whisper. “I did not.”

Dark eyes softened and warmed slightly at that, and Sakae nodded. Her expression hardened again as she turned back towards Torogai, but as she was about to speak the door opened.

Tanda was smiling when he came in, his arms full of woven baskets filled to the brim in addition to the one slung across his back. The three sets of eyes that turned to him and the tension in the room was enough to instantly wipe the smile off his face and replace it with a worried frown. Quickly he closed the door behind him and, after look at Torogai, placed his burden on the floor next to it.

Sakae stared at him for a long moment, making him fidget and pale, before finally dismissing him and focusing again on Torogai.

“With all respect, Master Torogai, to you and my great-grandmother both, but that is still my decision.” Her voice hummed with restrained anger. “The reason there are no suitable men for me in my own village is that I am not interested in them.”

“I will be no man’s wife.” A defiant glare towards the wide-eyed Tanda. “Not even if that man is your prized student, aunt.”

With her words still ringing in the air, their meaning still sinking in, Sakae stalked over to where Balsa sat, cupped the startled warrior’s face in her hands, and kissed her.

What Sakae lacked in experience she made up for with enthusiasm and intent. Balsa responded without conscious thought or consideration for their company, but before she knew it, it ended as suddenly as it had begun. Sakae stepped back and turned towards Torogai again.

“I thank you for your hospitality.” She sounded very formal and polite, and strangely no longer so angry it made her voice rebound between the walls of the hut in its intensity. “But I believe it is best that I take my leave now.”

With that she swiftly gathered up her belongings, which she had yet to unpack since arriving, and marched out the door.

The silence in her wake was deafening.

No-one spoke or stirred. Then, with a jarringly loud noise in the still room, Balsa’s travel pack landed at her feet.

“Well?” Torogai demanded in a wry tone of voice. “Aren’t you going to go after her? Surely you’re not letting her go alone, this is wolf country you know.”

Startled, Balsa looked up to see Torogai smile at her, something knowing in the ancient woman’s eyes that for some reason made Balsa blush. She nodded and quickly scooped up her spear and her belongings and headed for the door.

Tanda turned away and would not look at her. Balsa kept her eyes averted from him as well as she passed him by the door.

It hurt.

Even after all these years of hurting over him or, if unintentionally on his part, being hurt by him, this managed to bring an all-new kind of pain. She had never meant to hurt his feelings, not before and not now, even if he never seemed to be as considerate to her feelings as she had tried to be to his. She had loved him once, loved the playmate and little brother she had in him, but the years had erased that little brother more and more until little remained.

Perhaps now he would finally understand. Perhaps, in time, they would be able to build a new friendship, a true one this time, in the place where the complicated mess of self-told lies and expectations that were them had been. Balsa hoped so, but only time could tell.

“Take good care of her.” Balsa heard Torogai say before the door closed behind her. At least Torogai was understanding, perhaps even a bit approving despite how things turned out. That meant a lot. The old woman meant a lot to Balsa.

The slender figure walking back and forth next to the horses, however, already meant more than Balsa could say for all that they had known one another for such a short time. Just the sight of her now filled Balsa with something so rare as a glimmer of hope for the future.